“I had to feed you with milk, not with solid food, because you weren’t ready for anything stronger.

And you still aren’t ready,”

1 Corinthians 3:2

Want to guarantee that you stay a spiritual baby? Here are 10 surefire ways…

1. Leave the Bible in your car all week.

2. Pray only at the dinner table or during the case of an emergency.

3. Check your watch frequently during Sunday morning services.

4. Keep an electronic device turned on at all times. Avoid the quiet.

5. Give only what is absolutely necessary and when everyone is watching.

6. Devise lots of questions about God and His Word, but never search for the answers.

7. Hold grudges. Refuse to forgive.

8. Never apologize (especially if you know you’re wrong).

9. Make sure you are first in line, first to be served, and first to be heard.

10. If you think God is convicting you of a sin, take two Tums, and sleep it off.