Let’s face it, the holidays aren’t what they used to be—at least not for me. When I was young, I loved Christmas for all the obvious reasons that a child would. I loved the lights and the decorations, the food and the family, but my primary focus was on the presents under the tree on Christmas morning.
As I got older, I learned to appreciate giving as much as receiving and found joy in watching the people I love open up the treasures I had unearthed for them. As a mom of young boys, it was exciting to play Santa, searching for the perfect gifts, hiding them around the house, and remembering where I put them later. Watching my boys’ eyes light up on Christmas morning made me so happy.
Things aren’t the same anymore. Children grow up and move away. Teenagers just aren’t as much fun to buy for. Life takes a toll. The holidays aren’t what they used to be.
But they can still be joyful.
Whether you are dealing with family conflict or mourning the loss of a loved one, stressed out with work or struggling with finances, fighting for your marriage or battling a serious illness, here are three simple ways to ensure that your holiday season is still joyful.
Read the story of Jesus’s birth. Yes, I know, you’ve heard it a thousand times before, probably at least once or twice every Christmas, every year of your life. Yes, I know, you can probably recite some of it by memory, “Lo, an angel of the Lord…” Yes, I know that you watched the children’s Christmas program just last week. Let me assure you. It’s not the same. Read the Christmas story—preferably out loud. It’s not a magical incantation, but there is power in the name of Jesus. Whether you are reading it by the light of the Christmas tree or choking out the words through your tears, there is something peaceful and joyful about reading those words and contemplating the human birth of the Son of God.
Do something for someone else. Again, this isn’t new advice. I didn’t say it was “new,” did I? We are often reminded that in order to take our mind off ourselves, we should do for others. But when you’re hurting, that’s a lot harder than it sounds. So, start small. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. Try holding the door open for the person behind you. Let someone in front of you in the Walmart check-out lane. If you are grieving, then do something in memory of the person you lost. Buy an ornament that reminds you of him. Give a donation in honor of her. For just a few minutes, intentionally choose to think about someone else.
Then, be kind to yourself. If you’re hurting this holiday season, it’s also OK to think of you. Think about what you used to enjoy about the holidays, and then do something minor that is somehow related. Maybe you usually go all out on decorations, but this year you haven’t even put up a tree. That’s OK. Grab a friend and head to a local Christmas display instead. Maybe you used to enjoy baking for all your friends and family, but this year you can’t seem to muster the energy to even crack the oven. Why not purchase a few items at your local bakery to treat yourself? Don’t think big. Think small. Then look for ways to capture a little bit of the joy that the holidays used to bring.
Because, here’s the truth. The holidays will never be the same. Even if everything in your life is perfect this season, I guarantee something will be different next year. Our circumstances are always changing. Thank Heaven, joy isn’t rooted in our circumstances; real, lasting joy is rooted in Christ.
I get it; I promise I do. When your heart is breaking, it’s hard to plaster on a smile and say, “Merry Christmas!” It’s hard to wish everyone a “Happy New Year” when the last thing you feel is happiness. If you are like me, you don’t want to fake it. You don’t want to take big extravagant measures to pretend like everything is OK when it’s not. But that doesn’t mean we should just give up and not even try.
There is joy to be found in the holidays because the holidays are a reminder of the eternal joy we have in Christ. So, let’s put into practice some wise advice from a children’s song I heard when the boys were young. “J-O-Y, J-O-Y, that must surely mean. Jesus first, yourself last, and others in between.”
That’s the true recipe for joy
How do you find joy even when you’re hurting?